The Characters

Sesom – former Vegan priest, leader of the Cult of Color

Sesom, a free-thinking Vegan priest, always had the feeling that there was something more to life, that things weren’t always so “black and white.” One day, Sesom had a strange, intense warm dream. When he awoke he truly had no words to describe what he felt, but it felt good. Every night Sesom would return to slumber and the dreams became progressively clearer and more intense. One night a loud voice spoke unto him. The voice was of the Spirit Energy Painter, and she addressed Sesom detailing his new purpose. Because of his humble and inquisitive nature, Painter chose Sesom to lead Vegankind out of the dark ages and into a new and colorful existence. The ultimate aim for facilitating a copasetic relationship between Mounds and Vegans was to restore upon Vegankind a certain amount of humanity – a humanity that was lost through years of inbreeding. With the mission to introduce Vegankind to the concept of color, Sesom became the world’s first good Vegan.

After establishing relations with Mound #1, The Legend, Sesom returned to the Underworld with fresh Moundmeat and began to conduct his strange color experiments. At night he would continue his conversations with Painter and during the day he sipped Moundmeat, meditated, and mastered the art of bouncing color flashes against the walls of his chamber.

It then became time for Sesom to choose his color warriors – Vegans who, like himself, had become fed up with living in the dark, Vegans who would be wiling disciples. Sesom wrangled together a motley crew of Vegans from all walks of Vegan life. Sesom and his new disciples labeled themselves the Cult of Color. With Moundmeat that they humanely milked from Mounds, the Cult members conducted strange rituals and color experiments. Sesom and his band of good Vegans erected mounduments and Miracle Machines. All was good and the Cult steadily gained new recruits.

Sesom and his followers made it a point to stay hidden from the watchful eyes of the purists who were intent on keeping veganism reductive and hateful. In the hearts of the hidden and amidst the secrecy of the well-intentioned, the seeds of doubt were planted. Sesom’s motives and actions, which were increasingly ego driven, came under fire by the group’s scientist, Betto Watchow. Betto created a terror organization which systematically eradicated most traces of the Cult of Color. Sesom managed to escape during the uprising. His whereabouts are no longer known.

Anthony – former Vegan priest, disciple in the Cult of Color

Anthony came of age at a time when the Vegan Code of Economy was at its most popular and the rejection of material goods was at an all-time high. He became one of the more popular priests because he could translate his thoughts into visible form, which made his sermons lively and easy to follow. One day, Anthony noticed that his congregation was so weak that they could barely sit up straight. This is the natural feeble state of the pure Vegan, who is totally without protein. Anthony made a radical decision to suggest that Vegans would be healthier if they were to intake a mouthful of meat each year. He began to question the effectiveness of the Code of Economy, thinking that strict adherence could only lead to ill health. “Vegans deserve more” he thought. Disillusioned to no end, he began to sculpt meat idols out of stolen tofu sacraments. His first and largest meat idol took the shape of a turkey – thus came the invention of the Tofurkey.

Around this time, Anthony developed a fierce drinking problem, perhaps in an attempt to forget the reality of his hopeless situation. He wandered into the pulpit fully tanked on tofu shots. His judgment was so clouded that his thoughts were stuck in Tofurkey-display mode. A member of the High Council was auditing his sermon, and for this last impure act, Anthony was expelled from the Priesthood. He wandered the streets of the Underworld aimlessly until he met up with Bow-Headed Lout and Paul, two other priests who had lost their way. The three became drinking buddies, were discovered by Sesom in a bar, and were recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color.

Baby Curt and Shy Jerry – Vegans, disciples in the Cult of Color

Baby Curt and Shy Jerry are twin brothers who were born attached at the face sharing one smallish brain between the two of them. When they were separated, Baby Curt ended up with most of the already too-small brain, leaving Shy Jerry with a bit of grey matter the size of an almond. They spent all of their young lives in and out of shelters and mental institutions. They were exempt from meditation because they were incapable of speech and focus, and were deemed unreachable by the Priesthood. Despite being unable to communicate with the outside world of Vegans, the brothers understood each other perfectly. They developed quite a complex system of communication based on the laws of color coordination because their simple minds allowed them unfettered access to colors that were forbidden to all other Vegans.

Shy Jerry always appeared blissful, but Baby Curt could often be seen scowling. It’s not that he was angry, but he was just smart enough to know he was stupid. Even thought they weren’t fit to integrate into society, the siblings managed to stick together and were eventually discovered and recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color by Sesom, who was the first outside Vegan to be able to reach these two.

Betto Watchow – Vegan, former member of the Cult of Color

Betto has five brains, and therefore, possesses a super Vegan intellect. At a very young age, he became president of the Visionary Vegan Association, and showed a great aptitude for invention through science. Betto was tricked into becoming a disciple in Sesom’s Cult of Color when he stopped on his way home from work for a brain massage. Little did he know that Sesom was posing as a brain lobe masseuse. While massaging, Sesom implanted color messages into Betto’s loosened brain lobes.

Betto was a productive member of the Cult of Color and produced important tools such as Miracle Machines for the group. Miracle Machines ran on moundmeat and were capable of producing blasts of color so strong that they can be seen even by the unconverted. Betto eventually rejected the brainwashing, and at this point, Betto’s skin tone changed from a normal white Vegan pallor to an ominously seductive jet black. After Betto’s transformation, he rewired Miracle Machines to produce evil results – the new Smearcle Machines produced eggs that hatched into Darkness Babies. Betto then created a terrorist organization which sought to systematically eradicate all traces of the Cult of Color.

Bow-Headed Lou – former Vegan priest, disciple in the Cult of Color

Bow-headed Lou was born with a head shaped like a donut, which caused him much grief throughout his childhood. One day on the playground, he was attacked by a bully Vegan who was nearly twice the size of an average Vegan child. Coming from a pacifist household, Lou began to meditate. Seeing that his attacks were having no effect, the bully became frustrated and ran straight for Lou. The bully was sucked into the open space between Lou’s eyes and disappeared…forever. Lou’s display piqued the interest of the High Council of the Priesthood, and they urged Lou’s parents to allow him to enroll in Priest Prep. Once Lou became a full-fledged priest, he was allowed to meditate in the “Great Hall of Less.”

Since Vegan priests are obsessed with being reductive, paring down, and simply getting rid of stuff, they began to use Lou’s vortex as a wastebasket while he was in the Great Hall meditating. Lou overheard a couple of priests talking in the Less Lounge. One said to the other, “Yeah, thanks to ole donut-brain, we’ve gotten rid of so much stuff. That freak is a blessing from Loid.” Lou hadn’t been called a donut-brain since he was a child, but he knew they were speaking of him, and realized that the only reason he was allowed into the priesthood was to be used as a cosmic garbage can. Soon after, Lou put in his resignation and left the priesthood for good. He wandered the streets of the Underworld aimlessly until he met up with Anthony and Paul, who had also left the priesthood. The three became drinking buddies, were discovered by Sesom in a bar, and were recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color.

F-Shine – Vegan youth counselor, disciple in the Cult of Color

F-Shine was the runt of the litter. He had to develop an extra-feisty demeanor in order to even be noticed. After he graduated from Vegan pre-school, he began to get cuter and cuter at a rapid pace. Most Vegans start out cute but by their teen years have evolved into a form that isn’t pretty to look at. F-Shine’s rapidly progressing neotenic traits resulted in frequent cheek-pinching by strangers, which caused him much humiliation and sore cheeks.

Around this time, F-Shine took an interest in the “Code of Less’ and began to long for a glamorous life in the Priesthood. For F-Shine, there was an unexpected perk to enrollment in Priest Prep: Cheek-pinching was against the rules. F-Shine was rather enthusiastic about his studies and always received high marks. When it came time for F-Shine to take the trials, he received a note from the High Council stating that since he was so short and cute, they did not feel he would make an effective priest. Instead, they offered him the role of Vegan youth counselor. He reluctantly accepted this lesser role. Soon after, F-Shine befriended another Vegan youth counselor named TB. F-Shine and TB had the specific role of chiseling the words “YOU DESERVE LESS” over and over again into the cave walls with a piece of sharpened, petrified tofu. The two Vegans discussed their grievances about the Priesthood, and grew increasingly wary of its dogma. They were soon discovered by Sesom and recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color.

Painter – a Spirit Energy

Painter is a mothering, loving spirit energy that represents hope and tolerance within the universe. She is synonymous with color, and her energy is visible as a rainbow of colors. Colors are a result of Painter’s presence.

One night, Painter spoke to Sesom in a dream. She charged Sesom with the mission of bringing color, and thus enlightenment, to the black and white world of the Vegans, and to make peace with the Mounds, which would bring humanity back to Vegankind. Following her instructions, Sesom went in search of Mound #1. He then recruited disciples, formed the Cult of Color, placed Miracle Machines in the darkest caverns and places where enlightenment was most needed, then led his disciples, with buckets in hand, above ground to search out the willing Mounds for a massive Mound milking to fuel the Miracle Machines. The pilgrimage took longer than expected, and just as the Vegans were to milk their last Mound, it became glaringly apparent that they would not make it back to the Underworld in time to start the Miracle Machine light shows. Sensing that the prophecy was in danger of non-fulfillment, Painter came down from above and used special divine color ropes to tie off the Mound sores. She yanked and jerked until streams of precious pink juice flowed out of the stressed holes and into the eagerly awaiting buckets.

Paul – former Vegan priest, member of the Cult of Color

Paul was raised in an extremely religious household. Paul’s father hoped that when Paul was old enough, he would take the trials to become a priest. Paul had the unique ability to see the future. In his mind, he could view telecasts of future events as if watching a film. His ability to see the future played a role in his acceptance into the Priesthood. A great many of Paul’s future flashes were of apocalyptic chapters in Vegan history. Eventually, Paul became unable to deal with the increasingly dark nature of his thoughts. Almost every corner of his brain was populated by images of war, destruction, and death. He began to fear not only for his own sanity, but for the state of Vegankind.

He began to tell his congregations to do the opposite of what they had been taught, maintaining that adherence to the “Code of Less” would lead to inevitable destruction. This, of course, caused Paul to be expelled from the Priesthood. He was in such a state that the only way to suppress his dark thoughts was through inebriation. Paul wandered the streets of the Underworld aimlessly until he met up with Bow-Headed Lou and Anthony, two other priests who had lost their way. The three became drinking buddies, were discovered by Sesom in a bar, and were recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color.

TB – Vegan youth counselor, disciple in the Cult of Color

TB was born with a rare form of Vegan gigantism, which caused him to grow very tall. Because they couldn’t deal with raising such a special Vegan, TB’s parents put him up for adoption, and TB was raised in an orphanage. TB’s height caused him problems in school. Aside from being teased constantly, there was a great amount of physical discomfort associated with being freakishly tall. In order to fit into a classroom, TB had to arch his neck forward and sit with his knees pressed firmly against his chest. This caused him so much discomfort that he could hardly pay attention in classes. He eventually dropped out of school altogether.

TB ran away from the orphanage and decided to implant himself in the work force. He had several different jobs before being hired by the Priesthood as a youth counselor. Just as he was mentally harassed by his previous employers, TB was hounded on this job as well. This time it was worse, because the denigration came from clergy. Members of the High Council lectured TB that it was a curse to be so tall and that he must meditate in order to have “Less” height. This was a catalyst for TB to begin to question the validity of the Priesthood’s dogmatic teachings. Soon after, TB befriended another Vegan youth counselor named F-Shine. TB and F-Shine had the specific role of chiseling the words “YOU DESERVE LESS” over and over again into the cave walls with a piece of sharpened, petrified tofu. The two Vegans were soon discovered by Sesom and recruited as disciples into the Cult of Color. TB proved to be a great asset to the group by performing heavy tasks such as moving Miracle Machines. TB and Sesom escaped during the uprising. Their whereabouts remain unknown.

Other Characters

Vegans

Vegans are colorblind creatures that live underground in a world of black and white. Because of centuries of inbreeding, Vegans have lost their humanity and are evil self-righteous creatures who push their morality on others. They eat only tofu, and are very weak and small, like skeletons. They hate the Mounds and plan to destroy Moundkind. To Vegans, everything is literally black and white.

Color Babies

Color Babies hatch from eggs and attack vegans, assimilating themselves into the Vegan’s body thus making the Vegan turn ‘good.’ Color Babies and their Vegan converts are the targets of Darkness Babies, who seek to destroy them. Color Babies have strength comparable to that of Darkness Babies, and are targeted for attack when they expose themselves as they leave the bodies of converted Vegans who have fallen.

Darkness Baby – Smearacle

Darkness babies are a form of non-thinking drones created by the Vegan scientist Betto Watchow. They are born from large black eggs, which are a product of Smearacle Machines. Darkness babies are born fully developed, and need no instructions to carry out their tasks because they are born with this innate knowledge. The sole purpose of a Darkness Baby’s existence is to seek out and destroy good Vegan converts and Color Babies. These dark tasks are carried out by force and hand-to-hand violence. Darkness Babies are incapable of higher thought. Their brains are hardwired genetically to carry out tasks in a drone-like manner. They don’t possess a capacity for critical thinking and aren’t sentient of their own existence. However, Darkness Babies do have a survival instinct and will defend themselves from attacks.

Darkness Babies are humanoid in appearance and have athletic musculature. Their skin is smooth and rubbery with a jet-black coloring. They possess strength comparable to that of Olympic athletes, enabling them to press about 350 pounds. Together with their master, Betto Watchow, Darkness Babies form the terrorist group seeking to eliminate the Cult of Color.